My Poetic Diary

We lift each other
Above the crowds
Look above
The fading clouds
Towards beyond
What our life can offer
Look at the promise
Of a happily ever after.
The streets are wet
From the rain
And there’s a movie
On our tv screen
Loud noises come
from the apartment above
And look
We’re back where we started from.

I’m cautious,
On edge
I’m getting closer
To breaking
Every passing moment.
There are a million
Strangers
All around me
But I’m not a part of them
It’s like I’m watching
A movie.

But then I turn
Swiftly around
And catch his look
Before he looks
Back down.
And suddenly the chaos
In the world and my heart
Turns into rhythmic beating
Into music,
Into art.

Something’s not complete
It bugs me in my sleep.
When I wake up the next day
I just wanna go away.

I saw your car today
I turned and looked away
I didn’t wanna feel again
Especially when I spent
So much time forgetting
About you and her
And all that other stuff.
Stuff we never did
You know,
The stuff that’s still
Stuck in my head.
I still lie awake sometimes
Thinking about your eyes
Your arms, your voice
What you must be doing
This very minute.
But when I saw your car today
When you drove past
In your red truck
In the parking lot
of where you work.
I hid all those feelings
Well enough.

I can hear the echoes
I can feel them too.
In the silent car
And over the radio
They come and go
Like lights—
On and off
And they flicker
Something,
They trigger
Something
Inside of my heart

It’s making me sadder
Every passing day
That you’re with her
Laughing away.
It didn’t sink in
At first when I found out
But I’m finally
Coming to terms with it now.
And I’ll say it’s okay
And continue to dream
Of me and you
And you and me
But at the end of the day
I know
It’s just a stupid fantasy
Because she has you
While I have
nothing.

It’s simple, simple, simple
Let’s be simple, simple, simple
Again.

I really wanna be good at something
But I’m really not good at anything
And not just the kind
Where you try really hard
And stay up working all night
Only to get a B because you left out
All the goddamn details from that story.
I wanna be good at something
Like the way a bird is good at flying
Or a bee is good at making honey.
I wanna be good at something
Like it was what I was meant to be.
I wanna be good at something
Yeah, I wanna be good at something
Without really even trying.
But I’m really not good at anything.
Does anyone know what I mean?

All the things
We don’t have in common
It makes me mad
Why do you have to be like that?

There are so many moments
Where you start to doubt
Most of your life
Is spent under clouds.
But those don’t matter
When the sun comes around.
Because I live for those moments
That are so few
I can count them on one hand
Yet account for everything
That I am.
And there are those
that have read all these books
Claim they know everything
Just by the way they look.
They don’t know anything.